Grief is a strange companion. It walks quietly along side you for days, and then suddenly, without warning, demands your full attention, I’ve had a couple of those days. I didn’t even want to go to church this morning and went out of a sense of duty more than desire.
In our prayer time between services, I read these words on our prayer sheet, “…give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus.” (I Thess. 5:18)
There was that little word “all.” A word that doesn’t allow any room for exceptions. A word that doesn’t allow even my grief to be exempt. In these circumstances I was to be thankful. In this new stage of life as a widow, I was to be thankful.
This went against every natural emotion. It seemed like a strange, even inappropriate, response to grief. And yet it couldn’t be ignored because Scripture reminded me that “this is the will of God in Christ Jesus.”
So, I came home from church and chose to obey. I chose a thankfulness that didn’t ignore my grief but found reasons in the midst of it to say thank you. As I began to take the first steps out of pure obedience, I found a true spirit of thankfulness welling up in my heart as I remembered the many things for which I truly was thankful.
Thankfulness didn’t make my grief go away. I still miss Peter. I still miss the absolute joy (and fun) of being his wife. I’m still adjusting to the many changes that have come as a result of his death. But thankfulness forced grief to again take its place quietly walking beside me. It’s my companion these days, but it doesn’t have to be my focus. I choose thankfulness instead.
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Thank you for sharing the personal side of your life. God has given you a story. One you didn’t want Him to write, but, thanks to God’s great power, a story He will use to comfort others and help them on their journeys. Praying for you.
So very true Ester.
Esther, I want you to know that as I was driving to church to worship practice this morning, I thought of you. Rather, God brought you to kind. About 8:37 a.m. Jarica and I were looking at the trees and the ice on them. They shown like diamonds. You came to mind. And for some reason, I knew I’d come home and message you, or see that you’d posted something. I think God is just good like that. Today we sang a new song…Echo Holy. As I was getting ready for church, I was listening to the songs for today’s service in preparation for corporate worship. There is a specific part in the song that evoked a clear image in my mind…where it says A million angels fall
Face down on the floor
All to echo, “Holy is the Lord” My heart can’t help but sing With all of Heaven roar Forever echo, “Holy is the Lord”…I thought, how amazing the picture in my mind…a million angels. Giving thanks, praising God. It made me cry, at the simple fact of being able to worship God. No matter what. So today, my heart joins yours in grief, in unrealized love. Thankful that this isn’t all there is. Love you friend. ♡
What a wonderful reminder of the hope we have – “strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.” Miss you, my friend and sister! <3
Thank you for sharing Esther. Your faithfulness in all circumstances is helping so many others. I miss you
Miss you too. Never had enough time to be together but thankful that God added you to my life.
It’s hard to share gard things and I know God us using you to help and inspire others and bring all of us closer to Him. Still prayers for the hard days and praise for the easier ones
You’ve been one of His blessings to me.
Praying for you dear friend. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Esther!
I to have been thinking of you this week but I really did not want to bother you. I know what you mean by going to church out obedience, because for many many months that is how I felt. No one knows what grief is unless you have loss someone but I think losing a spouse is the worse! We know that Your Peter and my Bill is so so better off being in Heaven no more pain. But that don’t change us from our loss. I have felt for you with so much change that you have had since Peter passed away. I miss our talks and your ☺ smile and just would like to give you some tissues for comfort!HA!
Love you my friend,Starr
❤️
I love @grief is my companion, but doesn’t have to be my focus”. I feel a sadness with me in all I do, but I too will choose thankfulness. That’s what God says and what Peter and John would want us to do.
Esther In just the short time I’ve known you, God has already told me so much through your words on how to have a more personal relationship with Him. I have never understood things about a personal relationship and prayer that you talk about so easily. (And I guess there might be a few others excited & loving you’re in NH but Im pretty sure God brought you to NH mainly to clear up all I have needed to learn about more personal prayers. 😉🤗) Jesus already starts many of our talks with, ‘Remember when Esther said…’ God definitely uses ALL of your life and so so many of your words to bless so many. 🤗 ❤️
Dear Friend. You have many, many gifts, and one of them is expressing your thoughts in such a sweet way that others can be encouraged by them. Praying for you and sending our love.
In my daily walk as a disciple of Christ I want to pursue that life of discipline. Actions such as prayer or fasting come to mind when I think of being disciplined. Thank you for reminding me that thankfulness is also a discipline.